MALE AND FEMALE
RELATIONSHIPS
From an article by Rob Medich
Paraphrased and enhanced
Anything he can do,
she can do too.
How does a male win
competing against
the tender gender?
Bobby Riggs claimed
that he was a confirmed male chauvinist
and four months before his famous match
with women�s libber Billie Jean King,
he won over the number one
ranking female player,
Margaret Court.
�If I lost,� Riggs said, �I would become
the laughing stock of tennis.
It would have been a blow
to male morale everywhere
had I got knocked off by Margaret.�
Instead of getting knocked off
by Margaret Court,
Riggs got knocked off
by Billie Jean King
to the tune of 6-4, 6-3 and 6.3.
No one was more surprised
at being trounced by Billie Jean
than Bobby Riggs.
Women now complete with men
head on in just about everything
and often come out way ahead.
They work with, and sometimes against,
men at nearly every level in of the workplace,
the university, the media and the government.
Sports leagues are more likely
to entertain both genders,
and the division of work at home
is becoming more complicated
as more and more women
work just as hard as a man
and earn just as much money
as a man.
Enlightened men embrace
the idea of equality
between the sexes.
Men also know way down deep
that the goals of equality
and esteem for women
sometime go against
the age old principles of biology,
the male dominated society
and the nature of evolution
according to male interpretation.
Losing can bring a male down ~ literally.
Losing to a woman is even worse.
The man feels inferior,
and it is not just a cultural idea
that is drilled into them
from early childhood.
It is DNA and hormones.
Men are the providers
and women are the receivers.
Women want their men to be winners
just as much as the men do.
Women look for a man
who wins in everything.
Getting the winner or winning the star
has always been a critical turn on.
The concept behind that is
that a man who wins is the best.
When a man plays against a woman,
she may want him to win ~ then again,
she may want to whip his sorry buns.
Men and women who can play together
can make love meaningful
and go through all crises together.
The very essence of competing
has tremendous bonding power
so long as you are doing it
with the proper spirit
of not wanting to demean
or cripple the other person,
but seeing it as a positive way
of increasing your attachment
to one another.
Everyone respects a gracious loser ~
a person who loses with class.
We are all wired to win, of course,
but being a poor sport about losing
will only make us small and lower
in another�s perception of us.
People who create a mass of excuses
seem weak to another because
they can see right through it.
The man should appreciate the woman
and not put her down or himself down
anymore that the woman
should put the man or herself down.
If we don�t win, we can at least
show some strength of character.
The minute Bobby Riggs
lost their famous tennis match,
he jumped the net,
kissed Billie Jean and said,
�I wasn�t ready for you to be that good.�
From that moment on,
they embraced each time they met
and professed to have an abiding
mutually platonic love for each other
right up to the time of his death.
Couples enjoy competing
against each other, and whoever wins,
be proud of each other
and acknowledge the winner�s victory.
This is an enormous sign
of emotional security.
In relationships
where the people are close,
one person�s strength becomes
the other person�s strength.
Flattering the winner
is like flattering oneself.
It is a win-win situation.
Arguments or simple discussions
have the potential of turning
into destructive struggles
for control.
Consider the other person your equal
and know that you can have a discussion
without being afraid the world
will fall apart, if you lose.
Men and women argue differently.
Men take the logical route
while women often take
the more personal approach.
Lots of men are apt
to hammer away at their point
until the other person caves in,
which makes the women
feel that men do not listen to them.
Let the other person know
you have heard what they said
and that you understand what they said,
rather than dismiss their input
and argue about what is right
and what is wrong.
If you forge ahead trying to prove
that the other is wrong,
you will both get nowhere
because that is quite simply
not the constructive way
to communicate.
If the other person is upset,
never offer a solution.
Ask questions to show them
that you understand their position.
This will calm them down, and then,
if they seem receptive to solutions,
offer them.
Men may find that some women
take advantage of a gentle approach.
The part of the protector holds true
so long as she evokes
that protection on some level.
If she violates acting like a female
and strikes out and castrates
the man psychologically,
the man may very well stop
treating her as a female,
and rightfully so.
Men should feel justified to let loose
when defending himself
against a tough woman ~
verbally, of course.
Fight fair at all times
and keep personal digs and slams
out of your discussions.
Know what the problem is
and stick to its parameters.
Males and females
all have stories to tell,
and if you want to play fair
and make things work,
listen to the other�s story attentively.
Communication
is our most powerful tool
with understanding, consideration
and common sense
following close behind.
Remember ~
true listening is wanting to hear.
Now let�s go to our corners,
and come out loving.
CONFRONTATION
From an article by Daniel Frankel
Paraphrased and enhanced
A female colleague
said something to me
during a meeting that pushed all my buttons.
�You know, Maxine�
I replied mostly in jest,
�if this were grade school,
I�d sock you for that.�
�Well, we�re not in grade school,�
she shot back in no jest whatsoever,
�and I am the just one
who can knock you on your buns.�
Maxine is a martial arts expert
and has since then kept us all appraised of
her black belt status.
We both laughed it off as best we could,
but I continued to replay the confrontation
over and over again in my mind.
Maxine would have killed me.
My appreciation for
the power of positive women
goes back to when I was eight years old
and hung around with
Jan, my next door neighbor.
Jan was three years my senior
who happened to be an exceptional athlete
who would later engage in
a stellar collegiate softball career.
Jan taught me how to hold
and throw a football
and how to build a killer fort.
She also taught me how to say Uncle
with my arm pinned back
and my windpipe constricted.
Crossing Jan meant she�d pin you down,
apply crushing pressure to your collarbone
and test how much your most delicate joints
could be twisted and stretched.
Jan wasn�t a mean kid.
Jan was my best friend, who turned out to be
a cool adult and a successful coach.
Jan was only doing
what most older, bigger and stronger kids
do when they are associating
with younger, smaller and weaker kids.
The world today must embrace
the ideal of constructive progress
and that begins with the premise
that a man and a woman are equals
each capable of achieving any goal
into which they are committed
to putting their mind, their heart
and their eager determination.
Prejudice and bias are enemies
of the productive evolution
of human nature, for which
we must devote ourselves
to honest communication,
compassionate understanding
and the human rights
of each and every individual
on the face of this planet.
Earth is our home.
We are all terrestrial bipeds
and that makes us all ~
family.
